Tag Archives: The Hobbit

“The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies”- Peter Jackson’s Exhausting Saga Closer


The Hobbit, the novel by JRR Tolkien is seven chapters long and a little over 300 pages. That’s the exact amount of book—give or take some appendices—that Peter Jackson has managed to pad, stretch, strain, bloat, expand, and exhaust in his final effort to get three long “epics” out of one generally quick read. The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies, is the last gasp of this needlessly trifurcated adaptation. When the first Hobbit movie came out, the adaptation JRR Tolkien’s novel and prequel to filmmaker Peter Jackson’s adaptation of Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy, I was cynical about the endeavor about it like most of us, but after some time I learned to enjoy it for what it was. Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy is a fantastic example of blockbuster movie making not to mention an exercise in the value of adaptation, and I didn’t really see the harm in hanging around the franchise a while longer, even without the benefits of characters I grew to love or an interesting story. The second Hobbit film, The Desolation of Smaug tested this good-natured theory a great deal. I haven’t seen it since that first viewing, and I cringe at the idea of trying. Nevertheless, I still felt that if this is something you’re into, you should feel lucky that commerce allowed Jackson to keep delivering hours upon hours of “Middle Earth” and sword & sorcery fantasy shenanigans. The final chapter, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies, however, broke me. Personally, it’s certainly one of the worst studio tent-poles in recent years, and now alongside the other entries in this bungled trilogy of error, it adds up to a movie franchise that elicits little more than a shrug & eye roll. I’m not sure if this one is technically better or worse than the last movie, but I do know neither of them are good as movies, let alone as Lord of the Rings fan-service. Maybe the first movie is a little okay, but these last two films are just huge bloated, poorly plotted and bafflingly executed trifles.

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I love movies. There are what are traditionally thought up as “bad” movies, filled with technical incompetence, odd acting choices and even middle of the road films that nobody cares about. Some movies are just “awful” enough to actually be enjoyable and entertaining in a sort of junk food level. I’ve already gone at length about how weird movie reviews are, but “WORST Movies” lists are pretty damn weird as well. Some movies are expectedly bad but their ambition was pretty low to begin with and listing only those would be like making a list of worst restaurants and only including Arby’s.

Instead I’m listing ten of the most DISAPPOINTING movies of the year (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER). Disappointment can often be worse for viewers than outright bad. These are cases when a film fails to do what it sets out to do and most of these might just simply fail to entertain.